“Remember be happy, be so incredibly happy, and help to make everyone around you happy,” wrote MHS math teacher Tom Cremeans in his final message to his students. “Thank you for making my life even better. Peace, Cremeans.”
On Aug. 9, Cremeans died at the age of 41 from lymphatic cancer. Known for being an extreme optimist, Cremeans was a shining symbol at MHS of hope, willpower, and above all, happiness.
“Can you imagine a person who is never stressed? Never complained? Never angry? Never had a bad day?” said co-worker and friend of Cremeans, Michelle Kalhorn. I couldn’t, I couldn’t until I met Mr. Cremeans.” Cremeans was able to see things from a much larger perspective than most people, and he was able to apply this powerful characteristic largely in the classroom.
Cremeans was capable of finding an individual connection with nearly every student, discovering what ‘makes them tick’, and most importantly help them not only in the math classes that he taught, but in life as well.
In a letter to his students, coworkers, friends, and family, Cremeans wrote, “Listen, I want you guys to teach others about the Be Happy movement. I was only one person and imagine the power of a dozen, a hundred or a thousand students spreading the message.”
Students and teachers are working extremely hard to carry on with the movement that already changed more than 600 lives. When the school year began, an ample amount of teachers began giving some sort of ‘life lesson’ to make school more relatable to the students, or simply to remember and honor Cremeans.
Language Arts teacher Shawn Durso is carrying on with Cremeans message in the classroom starting with applying the concept of ‘can’. While preparing Honors ELA sophomores for an upcoming DBQ, (Data Based Question), Durso asked her students to write two lists: one regarding ‘why I can’t write a DBQ’, and another ‘what I cannot do’. She proceeded to ask her students, ‘what stands between can and can’t?’ Sophomore, Dillon Kesto responded saying, “I think it is mostly self-confidence, and lack of motivation.”
Durso continued on, referring to Cremeans many times and identifying that all the items on each student’s list were possible, but only if one wanted it enough and would set their mind to it. “We need to be more likely to do the things we enjoy, love, and have fun doing, so we can avoid our cant’s,” said Durso. “We all need to learn young and often that the word ‘can’t’ just doesn’t exist.”
By giving this 15-20 minute speech, Durso instilled more self-confidence into her students, and at the same time was able to teach them a preparation skill for every obstacle they would encounter.
Scott McGregor and a couple other teachers throughout the building are working hard to continue some version of Cremeans’ ‘Future Fridays’, an event where Cremeans would spend part of the hour teaching his students about life, inspiring them, and invoking them to work harder. When McGregor took over Cremeans’ classroom he was asked to somehow carry on Cremeans’ message. McGregor introduced ‘Quote Fridays’ in his math classes, which allows three students a week to bring in a quote that means something to them.
After announcing their quotes to their classmates, students write their quote on two large black posters on the back walls. “Things happen in your life and how you react to them determines how you will live your life,” said McGregor as he reflected on a quote from Cremeans that strongly affected him. “That’s the whole idea of being happy.” Cremeans had a superpower stronger than that of Superman’s or Batman’s; he had the power to inspire, the power to positively change the lives of so many.
He didn’t do everything he did for himself. He didn’t try to help people to raise his popularity standards or to pile on a high and mighty ego. “Everything he did was for others,” said Durso. “It wasn’t for recognition, or for himself. He did it genuinely without hoping to get something back. He was a completely selfless man.” Cremeans best friend, and partner-in-crime Doug Burke explained how both his and Cremeans’ biggest issue with teenagers was when they weren’t feeling good about themselves.
This was one of his goals: to make every one of his students, friends, co-workers, and relatives feel like they were important, like they had a reason for their existence. Since Burke and Cremeans met 14 years ago at Clarenceville Middle School, their mission has been the same. Cremeans had fun, enjoyed life, to joke around, and took everything ‘with a grain of salt.’ The meeting of Burke and Cremeans defines their friendship. Burke was originally hired as the librarian at Clarenceville until that upcoming Christmas when he would fill the spot of a retiring teacher as a drama teacher.
Burke laughed as he reminisced on the memory of meeting his best friend. “Tom, with his witty sense of humor decided it would be funny if I was named Marrion the Librarian. I remember the first thing he ever said to me.
He walked into the library and said ‘Dude is your name Marrion?’ He’s a funny guy, just a good dude.” Burke and Cremeans shared memorable moments together from traveling to the Bahamas, Mexico, Acapulco, and Las Vegas.
They were, ‘Jimmy Buffet Buddies’ and both extremely similar. Burke is living proof of Cremeans message. “There’s a void in your school, and a void in my life,” said Burke. “Since I lost my pal I cried everyday, I cried a lot, but I know the void will soften as time goes.” Burke and Cremeans had unbelievable plans like introducing a ‘Be Happy’ summer camp where students could take two weeks and learn how to improve their reactions to bad events in life.
They had plans to eventually quit teaching and take the ‘Be Happy’ movement on the road where they would encourage students to be happy. They wanted to create a foundation where they could donate money to the families of sick individuals so they could help those individuals “live”. Together these two had an amazing amount of power to change the lives of hundreds or even thousands or individuals.
“If I could get rid of all the pain by erasing all the memories I would never do it,” said Burke. Although Cremeans is gone, he still lives on in the community. If anything his message is becoming even more powerful even after his death. “People need to know he didn’t die in his last 14 months,” said Burke.
In the hallways and classrooms at Milford High, one will often hear a student or teacher referencing a quote Cremeans presented to him or her or applying a concept Cremeans taught them in school. His teachings lie in every kind action presented here at MHS. “As he got sicker his eyes opened up to the world even more,” said Burke. “If there is anything I could learn from the whole situation it’s how courageous Tom was.” Prior to his death, Cremeans and Burke worked together to write a book, and Durso was asked by Cremeans to edit it. Durso and Cremeans’ father are working hard to get the book published.
Cremeans has also been nominated as the 2011 ‘Citizen of the Year’. “He deserves this award,” said Durso with tears in her eyes. “I know he instilled lessons to his students that went way beyond the books.” Many are continuing to carry on Cremeans’ message on the ‘Be Happy Group’ facebook page originally started by Cremeans. When one is having a bad day, many turn to the facebook page for help.
The Spanish Club is celebrating ‘The Day of the Dead’ at Cinco Lagos where they will build an alter in honor of Cremeans. After Cremeans’ funeral, nearly 350 people gathered for a party afterward. He originally didn’t want a funeral, but Burke reminded him that people needed time to mourn. Cremeans asked for a party, which Burke hosted with a slip-n-slide, huge tents, and hayrides, and Cremeans promised, spiritually, he would be in attendance. Many students continue to wonder how they can honor Cremeans.
Burke believes the answer is simple. “I guess what I can do more so than know exactly the answer to that question is to just put myself in the same situation. I would want them to love themselves a lot, to try to make people in their lives feel good about themselves, and to have a happy life. That’s all.”