Baby Dropper Found!

After some investigative journalism, and a dramatic turn of events, we have discovered the culprits behind the small plastic babies that have been found scattered around Milford High.

Over the past four months the halls of our school have been graced by the presence of tiny visitors—little plastic babies. Described by Urban Dictionary as “meant to be scattered around a public setting,” the multicolored babies can be purchased in bulk on Amazon. Since the beginning of the school year, they have been encountered almost everywhere including classrooms, hallways, the cafeteria, and bathrooms.  Janitor Heather Gadany talks of sweeping up babies in the cafeteria, “I had no idea, I didn’t think anything of it. I’ve just been throwing them in the trash,” she added that she might’ve found a baggy of them with one or two left inside.

This isn’t the first time it has happened either; senior Emma Allen recalls that a similar phenomena occurred two years ago at Milford. This may have been inspired by a Youtuber, Jordan Cunningham, who posted a video of himself hiding mini babies around his school in 2019.  But what has caused the resurgence of our little plastic friends this year?  Who is the

mastermind behind it?

The general consensus about the babies is that they are harmless and, at any rate, funny. “I think it’s amazing, really…just great,” said Emma Allen. She adds, “I found my baby abandoned on the floor of the 400’s bathroom…his name is Bill.” Science teacher Mrs. Crow found a plastic baby on her classroom floor a couple weeks ago.  Her opinion on the babies is that “it could be a fun little thing if we had some sort of contest or something, but because they aren’t really hiding them very well it seems like kind of a waste of time,” then she adds, “Don’t get me wrong…I love my little guy, I’m going to keep him until I retire.”

After investigating the baby mystery for quite some time, there was a dramatic crack in the case—one of the Milford Messenger’s own staff members observed a group of students holding a baggy filled with plastic babies. This discovery led us to Jennifer Hittle, who provided  the name of one of the perpetrators, and showed us her hand sanitizer that the babies were “using as a swimming pool.” With a little bit of detective work, we secured an exclusive interview with the baby droppers themselves. They prefer to remain anonymous, as to maintain the mystery shrouding the babies, but they agreed to answer a few questions.

“My friend decided to bring them to school and didn’t know what to do with them…so I just grabbed a handful and threw them and then started hiding them around the lunch room.” The culprits bought a bag of 300 plastic babies for about $15, and have been scattering them about since at least December. “I still have like half a bag to hide,” said one of them. And when asked if they would continue the answer was a decisive “Yes.” So, in the coming weeks watch your step, there are babies lurking around every corner.